“My name is Savant. I’m Five hundred years, nineteen days and seven and a half hours old, give or take a few. I’m an innate traveller and portalsmith, which means that if there weren’t a billion magical locks put on this place — all of which are adding up to give me one hell of a headache, mind you — I would be able to leave either by disappearing — physically, not visually — into a parallel universe, where, I’m sure, I would be now resting on a perfectly combed and polished white sand beach sipping a cool coconut-based drink from the cleavage of a dark-skinned woman I don’t know the name of. Your turn.”
The creature was silent for around three minutes. Then, he asked, “What’s a coconut?”
A-ha.
~~~~~~~~
From Chapter 3 of ‘How to Prove Your Insanity’ — (“Conversation with a Monster”)